Suffer***

I sick i still cant sleep. Now already 4.50am on 16 March 2010... I suddenly had a bad dream. Not me wanna dream. Don't know why will appear.

I don't know how to say. I still remember, When form 3, we start our love. Did you all believe, every night i need to call her. You all know why?? Her mother always scolding her, and because of her brother she get scolding by her mother. She always cry and sms me ask me to call her. I never think anything and just call her and convince her. That time she say, 'This world only me love her and care her'. She really like me and she say i always can make her happy. I have my risk to call her and get scolding by my family non stop. But i can happy with her. Now day, she can say. Even friend, she will one word also don't wanna say to me.

Form 4, she cant get good result in PMR. She drop my A class to B class. I say and i promise her, Form 5 she sure can get back A class if she study hard can i go convince the teacher. I use whole year planning with my friend to get her in. At last i never lie her. She really can get back to A class and study with me. She so happy and hug me. Now day, she say. She only remember what i do wrong, others thing she all forget and so easy say. She a forgetful girl.

When i dance in school for a small competition, actually is I been force by someone cause form 5 don't have participation. That time she sick with, her word, she don't wanna dance and ask me go to dance. She won't jealous. Now day, she say. That time i did not call her dance and find other girl dance with me. She angry me whole week. She say i already do wrong. ????

When finish our form 5 and got our results, she say what she wanna study hard cause she get bad result. She say she wanna me teacher ask me support her to Johor, without think, i promise her. She ask me company her sms when she need me. I did everyday even i busy sometime. All my friends saw me non stop sms even i doing assignment. Now day, she say. When i call her ask her chat with me, she say she busy can close my phone so fast. 

When at her home, she say she love me so much and ask me anything happen don't live her. That time, many thing happen i try my best help her solve and convince her. Every time she got a problem ask me, that time i promise her i will teach her grow up and she can solve problem herself. She say she want. I start my teacher life to teach my little lovely student. Now day, she say. She never ask me to teach her she also not happy like this, I wanna tell her. Not all thing can come so early without a hard work. But at last i never say cause i don't want hurt her.

That time she say other than me she won't touch any guy, if i broke up with her she also won't so fast love other, i tell her this world many will happen, because that i try my best and promise her to make this love longer and longer until 4 years. Now day, she say. All thing and she say she already not remember and ask me forget all of it. Is this she say to me like this ???

When I got NS in form 5. She say that three months don't know how to past. I promise her. I try my best get the phone and first person i will sms her. I did and she so happy. She say. I really love her so much and she won't forget the thing i sacrifice to her. Now day, she say. Just because of me not in good body health so just only together with me.

When i back from NS and i got surgery in Pantai Hospital. She come and visit me. But that time i know she wanna cry out but she scare her mother i understand so i silent and did not say anything. That time i already very not feeling well after do the operation. But i kept made her smile and tell her i nothing. Now day, she say. anything happen to me she won't care and don't want know.

15 March 2010. I sick after back from dinner. I so cold and wanna a person to chat only. But what i get is when talk only a while she also feel so hard to chat. Now all thing so different. All the thing above i just wrote only 5 to 10% of it. I don't know why i will sacrifice so many for this girl. Am i too love her. I really don't know i try my best already she say not happy i also can't do anything. Until now my fever never go down. I wanna sleep and rest but scare to close my eye. I very scare. I can't do anything with her word. I wanna forget it but all the thing i saw and hear. I can't do anything. 

Just a LIAR

Four years we have been together... I think we really live happily from starting so i do all my thing and put all effort into the relation.... But now i only know all is a liar..... World was so cruel... how you love her... but lastly you will get pain.. I know why some boy love play girl... or some boy love gaming more than girls.. cause game can make you happy and computer is noob. It won't cheat you. But human is different.. How you do also she just together with you because she scare alone.... She cry when broke up because she lost people company and lost a helper. But one she get a new one... Only one thing will do. KICK YOU far far away without a word. When together with you. She sure say 100% love you. But you really feel 100%??

You must divide it with 100 then the answer will appear. Not all girl will like la. Sometime boy also.. I damn hate those boy who play girl.. They more worse cause they will divide it for 1000. But one thing can confirm that boy always the hurt one than girl...


No one know what happen. This is the world with a LIAR. For me now i really scare all the girls in this world because i got two incident in a year....

Lonely*

Three day i play like hell with my friends. I think i should start my study already. Before too late, with ROW and Dota help me a lot. But today 13 March 2010, i suddenly not happy at all when i wake up from my sleep. Maybe something should not happen already happen, and yet i can feel it. Nevermind, i hope i really can forget the pain later. So boring when stay in kampar for two weeks.

Just yesterday i finish half of my assignment with my buddy which is same group with me. All answer already try but yet need to ask our lecture Miss Devagi. Last thursday, i playing snooker and pool with my friends. But my skills getting worse already. Maybe long time never touch the cue from last semester. I need more practice. Haiz...

Exam is near, Week 4 coming a mid-term test for my one subject. Another one on 31st for March. everything is so near including her birthday and my birthday. After four years, i think this is first year i celebrate my birthday lonely. But i hope her will happy with her life. Nothing can stop her to do the thing to success. 10 days from now my birthday. The day is near but i won't forget this year of my birthday, cause a hard hard memory for me in this 19 years. I don't know who will accompany me to past this day cause many people won't know my birthday except her. But now, i think she already forget 100% of me. But nevermind, i still got myself to past this birthday happily. 

March, a month that i really happy for 4 years, but now is the worse month for me in 12 months. Everything is change. I make it change to reduce her pain and love from me. Cause i don't wanna her because of me sad and cry one more time. Fate can't change by human. We need to accept all of it. Time is near and  my time is short. This all thing happen in lightning force.

Long long time never write blog, today is the best day to write because i free................

Girl is girl make me @@

My friend GG say the right point, the girl really wont care and wont see how hard you do a thing. Plus my knowledge from other girl. The conclusion was they even wont care how hard you do. if they dislike forever is a wrong, if they like how little work a guy do they also will happy, same place same condition but different people. Give different response. I really disappointed to her. Is really, i can't do anything cause i only love her. =.=

Never mind la, at least she happy than enough. Now i only realize, love not must together than will occur, you can even try to release her to have more happiness outside the world. World is big many thing is different. Let her find a world that she like most.

Time for me GAME OVER@@

Is time for me forget the past and start a new remanding life.....
:-) every thing must happy. Everything must left it once you feel yourself happy.
Although it is hard for me but i will try. Try until the end.
Hahaha, trying for GPA 3.7 and 4.0. wait and studying the coming exam. And wanna tell myself one more time
GAME OVER>>>

Happy Birthday~~

Her birthday very near, March. Three years celebrate with her. Fourth year already gone. Fate is fate. Everything can't change at all. When it happen can't return like last time. Really wanna say to her happy birthday face to face but i already promise myself won't see her anymore. Every time see her sure my heart wanna break. Heart so painful. What to do? That road i choose for her and myself. Don't wanna her because of me always forget her study and worry about her family. But what i get back all is rubbish. Always say me misunderstand the real fact. But did she really understand the fact when we together. She keep forget and forget all our promise and what she say to me. All gone this i only know from beginning. What i also give the clue what i also do. She did not realize that clue mean this all fate. The fate make us forever can't be the couple anymore. I can't say anything. Only can say GONE.

Just Finish Study~~

Yesterday just ask my friend print programming note for me and i just finish memorizing the note just now early morning. Suddenly feel wanna write some blog and now i writing. I really try my best and very hard to get good result for this semester 3. Really. I just wanna back what i lost this year 2010. I really feel suffer. Time make me more remember someone. Not forget someone. Her image in my heart getting clear to clearest. I only can say. This world always fooling us in love and even study, you not clever sure must study hard same as love. If you not enough love to her before that, you will get separate with her and let you know she really important to you. Then that time already too late. Same as study. If you did not realize that actually the exam were very easy but you never know what were the questions talking about. You can't answer it at all.