Alone @@ PAst Is PAst

Alone meaning in Cambridge Advanced Learner's Dictionary mean without other people. Is that real?? 
First you plan all the thing to someone, teach her and help her, mostly is love her, you never wanna back the response if you think you did all thing for her is love her. When she need me i will appear and teach her. I wanna her be mature and can solve problem by herself and not depend to anyone. This is the thing i need to do to teach her. But sometime i can't see her suffer i will help her without anyone knowledge. Only one if my best friend know the thing that i ask him to help me plan. Yet, she still feel i not good enough to her, yet she still say not happy with me, something even god and human will do wrong thing, no one is correct, no one can teach people even though they older than us, they teach us because they faced this problem before and the problem solved so they know. The conclusion can be make was all people will do wrong, see how you change yourself. Study in 19 years old very important. Cause after i know the hard of the study in UTAR. I can feel the same way in other school, in addition it was a government school with contract. Once around CGPA 2.0 something, sure got many problem. Last time, she ask me teach her dance in her PJ competition, i don't know she got follow what i teach or not, but i never try to ask. Cause she get second place in the competition. I feel happy because she start no need depend on me and won the competition. Besides that, she ask me teach her computer project but i feel very sorry cause i can't help because in my knowledge of computer only in english but her one come from BM. i try to use google translate into english but the stupid google translate, translate into word that i not understand at all. Plus, actually, my computer skill need time to thing. i learn too many thing, and the computer is come from binary combination, so as a human, i not computer that can stored more that 1 TB memory in my brain. Not all thing i will remember, especially STUDY. The word STUDY make me suffer for 6 years.....
I don't know why. My sister so clever but i out of the study material. I only can focus on outdoor activity.
A month already, we separate, most of the people say time can forget all the past. but a month, my brain still appear her non stop, is the word problem or mine problem. I not a guy that like playboy, so easy to forget another part. I got try to chase other, but every night i keep thinking her and now keep clear and clear, i cant use rubber to rub it because now on the image was using a marker pen to draw it out. How i try my best to rub but the image still appear in my mine. I make her hate me make her 1% also not think me because i don't her suffer. Just pain a while rather than pain forever. Yesterday i keep like last time watching her in the bus stop. But i did wrong thing, i let her saw me, haiz. Many time i never give her see but this time i never my behind then kena jo. Never mind la, i wont let her know next time. Just see her safety back to school is the best thing. See her a while enough already. Love a girl no need together with her and give her anything. Just help her a bit got let her happy and success is already enough. As she say, we no return, past is past she won't choose me anymore. I don't know i need to respect her or follow my heart to chase her back. but still long long time. I promise her i will wait 5 years let her finish study first. This i can do. Because i need to study too. Life is like that after lost is only know the thing very important. If you not lost it before you  wont more appreciate her at all. you won't know how love you to her. For me, and now in my mind, no girl can be replace her and no girl will make me 100% love the them. Because until now and future. I only love a girl, that is my ex.