Everyday, every night i doing the same thing. Wake up, eat, sleep and sleep. Nothing do, wanna study but no note. The note i had now already finish study, that was problem solving and programming. I though it was many chapters. Once i got it only 5 chapters. Zzzz.... Worry about my result that coming soon because now i start saw many many word about our result of this sem 2. After saw what they wrote, i worry with them.If she here, what will she say to me?? I really wanna know. Everyday i wake up i don't know i need to do what, brush my teeth, wash my face and eat breakfast, even sometime don't eat at all. this is me??? After do all the thing, i opened mu computer and i sat on the chair for few minutes without doing anything. Really, non of the thing i can do. Then wait until few hour past, i closed my computer and sleep on the bed. Until then time came to eat lunch i wake up.
Sometime i wrote blog then sleep sometime so speechless and no mood to touch it. Don't know why will become like that. After finish my lunch i went back home did the same thing like this morning slept until this evening for dinner. After dinner, back and played some and wait for the time past. Then bath and watched movie that i download from PPS until i felt tired and closed my computer and sleep. This is the life without her. This is the life i feel worthless to continue it. So not meaningful, so useless, damn boring, and so lonely. All my friends which got broke up with his girlfriend also nothing happen. Why i can't release like that. I wanna try but result so different. All people ask me find more beautiful girlfriend to forget the past. But for me i only love 丑小鸭,肥胖 和 良好的心 de 女孩. (if anything wrote wrong don't blame me just learn Chinese word)
I don't want her pretty because i not handsome, i love her fat because when i sad i can hug her and gave me warm, i love her good heart because she can take care of me when i sick cause i always sick this few year. Don't know why. Maybe to stress up. That is me, i just wanna a simple girl who love me not more than 70% enough. Cause i will try to make her more love after together with me, but now she gone. Gone together with other guy and forgot me. My heart pain like gave thousand of bee sting on my heart. The pain won't let you die but just sting you non stop with 10% pain and 90% suffer. Everyday i having a some thing in the same time. Why must always is the same time then my mood and emotion will fully cover by the darkness. This was a punishment on me for release her. MAYBE. But if i not release her, i also don't know i so love her. Once lost only know the important to me. If like last time, i lost something i just sad a while that wake up buy a new one. But this thing cannot, i just know something can't bought and find after you past the time.
For me, if you really love person you should go a ride on it. Later boat left, you will be late and forever can't make it. Time is limit. If you love, just go. If not you will regret once she in love with other guy. But you still got last chance. That is get her back once she still not yet marry with other guy. So this is my timing to get her back. And i won't let her go forever. I will hold her hand tight tight. If you wanna get her back please appreciate her forever if not don't try to get her back if not appreciate.
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